Of Michael Vanderherberg and the Justice He Fights For…

Michael Vanderherberg gets an A+ in life. He is one of the most legitimate dudes I know and is really just an all around fantastic human being. If you ever find yourself in Peterborough, Ontario, look him up and you will be glad you did. Michael is not into sitting around twiddling his thumbs, Michael is into doing stuff… awesome stuff. One of those awesome things is creating a zine on justice. The second issue just came out of which I have made a contribution. You, the one reading this sentence, should press the following button and engage with it.

[in] justice.

free shirts.

I love to dance. Sometimes when I dance I get free shirts. I went to a metal show Saturday night. I tore it up. I got this shirt.

I will never wear this shirt. It reminds me of Ed Hardy.

strange things are happening…

It is probably self-evident to put forth the observation that the internet is full of strange happenings. That is to say, that it is not uncommon to encounter certain perplexities on the internet… things that exist with no discernible reason behind them or purpose to them but to occupy space in a realm of things intangible and often non-sensical.

As unnecessary evidence, I present to you the following: a video featuring Sir Ben Kingsley, best known for his award winning performance as Gandhi, portraying one of my favourite artists, Ian Mackaye, best known for fronting seminal 80’s hardcore punk rock band, Minor Threat.

Exhibit B: A video made by one of my favourite people, Carlo Raponi featuring his-self, Steve North, and myself having an adventure scaling a train bridge about a year back. I remember this adventure, I don’t quite recall it being filmed and yet here it is fully edited and placed on the world wide web.

Two examples of things that exist on the internet for unknown reasons… but that’s just it… the internet doesn’t need to explain itself, make excuses or give reasons… no one will be held accountable… it’s the internet, it defies such conventions… and that’s just what it does…

p.s. Carlo, wherever you’re at… I love you man… we should chat, you and I.

exsanguination.

Elliott Smith stabbed himself to death. Before he did that, he made hauntingly beautiful music… music that’s raw in it’s intensity and struggle. It’s music where a battle with depression and substance abuse is made transparent in a way that doesn’t come across as trite or pitiful but serves as a lens for exploring broader themes. I am a fan… and yet it’s only recently that I’ve made this discovery, though his music has been present in my life over the years. I just hadn’t made the connection. Particularly poignant for me is a scene in Wes Anderson’s The Royal Tenenbaums.
Now before we get to that… Wes Anderson… what can I say about that guy that hasn’t been said? I mean what ‘hip, self-respecting 20 or 30 something’ doesn’t have an opinion to put forth when that name comes up? And sure it must be admitted the whole “grown-ups who haven’t… won’t… can’t grow up” theme is getting a bit tired but categorically, the guy’s an auteur. And in all seriousness, for the last 15 years Wes Anderson has been putting out unique, beautiful, whimsical (I’m a sucker for whimsy) films that are honest and genuine depictions of his artistic vision. Suffice it to say, even if your not a fan, Wes Anderson does what Wes Anderson does, well.
All that being said, Wes Anderson’s career hit a pinnacle for me in 2001’s The Royal Tenenbaums when this scene, set to a score of Elliot Smith’s, Needle in the Hay, came on the screen. I’m gonna let this one speak for itself apart from saying this to me is film-making at its finest.

(heads up: not for the faint of heart)

Unfortunately… sadly… oddly, Elliott Smith enacted a similar scene in his L.A. apartment two years later.
“I’m so sorry—love, Elliott. God forgive me.”

david.

David Bazan is my favourite musical artist, he has been for quite awhile. He’s been putting out consistently solid recordings from the outset, recordings about (among other things) faith. The fashion in which he’s tackled faith, the poetry he’s applied to that struggle, is unlike any voice I’ve ever encountered. He brings a genuineness to the table that speaks to the reality that is making sense of God in a world where God often seems absent. To watch the evolution of his thought over the course of his releases is to watch the evolution of a soul. If ever there were someone I would like to sit down and chat with about faith, it would be him. His latest album Curse Your Branches has been touted as a break-up album with God… that seems accurate. Lately he’s been putting on house shows all over North America. This is David and long-time collaborator Casey Foubert performing Hard To Be, my favourite song on the album, and one that sums up the general feeling that’s present on said album.

something old, something new.

An affliction.

Few films have hit me on such an emotionally impactful level as Michel Gondry’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I am probably not the first person to have made that assertion. It’s exploration of the nature of romantic love and memory tend to make me feel pretty gnarly, if for no other reason than it quite accurately depicts the nature of heartache. Whenever I watch the first five minutes of that film I recognize that I have found myself in a quite alarmingly similar state of mind to that of the protagonist ‘Joel’ on various occasions within my own life… being in a funk. It’s genuine… and as a result the first five minutes of this film are amongst my favourite minutes in any film ever, specifically the scene in the cafe three minutes and thirty seven seconds into that five minutes.
Observe… (just skip ahead to 3:37 or you can always watch the whole clip, it’s pretty worth it… just follow the link).

A familiar scene (in a cafe).

The line ‘Joel’ utters in that cafe is quite possibly the best line of monologue I have ever encountered in cinematic history. The truth is… I have that affliction. Those words are words I could generally speak in all honesty. I have in fact played out that very scene on at least one occasion in my retrievable memory. Sitting in a cafe, writing in a journal, noticing someone, noticing someone notice me, feeling the pangs of the heart, it’s increased pace, it’s erratic beating, the sudden increase in the room temperature, and then writing about the irrationality I recognize in myself yet am subject to nonetheless. As for the answer to that “why?”… who knows? I’ve got no response. How do you apply reason to the unreasonable? I’m sure various psychological assertions could be drawn but really… really I’m just a guy whose heart is tuned to a sensitive frequency. Maybe you can relate.

to you.

hymn…





The version of this song that’s on the album is even better… you should listen to it.

The name Page CXVI actually comes from a reference to page 116 in the band’s copy of The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis. It’s a particularly poignant passage where Aslan begins to sing Narnia into creation out of a black void.

“In the darkness something was happening at last. A voice had begun to sing. It was very far away and Digory found it hard to decide from what direction is was coming. Sometimes it seemed to come from all directions at once. Sometimes he almost thought it was coming out of the earth beneath them. Its lower notes were deep enough to be the voice of the earth herself. There were no words. There was hardly even a tune. But it was, beyond comparison, the most beautiful noise he had ever heard. It was so beautiful he could hardly bear it.”
~ C.S. Lewis

just a thought…

Sometimes the best way to love someone is literally just to exist in the same space as them.